Stop Asking Kids to be Adults

Katy Faust is a traditional marriage advocate that was raised by a lesbian couple. I find her reasons for supporting traditional marriage compelling.

I love this post from her. I love it because she is not trying to beat her arguments into the opposing side. She is trying hard not to talk past them but to them. To feel what they feel. Her interaction with a supporter of gay marriage shows this.

Her: “Are you fighting against equality?!?” she said edgily, invading my personal bubble. 

Me: “No, I’m fighting for the rights of children to be in relationship with both their mother and father.” 

Her: “But you’re against gay marriage, right?” 

Me: “Yes, because it promotes fatherless and motherless households.” 

Her: “Lots of kids don’t have that.  I grew up without a dad and I did fine.” 

Me: (Full stop. Mentally on my knees – Oh Lord, help me be sensitive to this woman. What do you want me to say to that?) 

“How did that go for you?” I asked, with as much softness as I could muster and still be heard.  “Most kids long for their missing father.”

Her conversation ended up like this.

“So what are you trying to accomplish?  I mean, what do you ultimately want to have happen?” 

Me: “Basically, I want us to stop expecting children to act like adults and sacrifice their rights and needs.  And I want us to start expecting adults, heterosexual and homosexual, to sacrifice so children don’t have to.”

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Kids are so often asked to act like adults. It should not be so. Whether it is because of divorce, or death or same-sex marriage; all children lose out on a bond with their biological parents.

This does not mean we are to mandate child-bearing. Or outlaw adoption. Tragedy happens. We all have the short end of some stick. When same-sex marriage becomes law, we are now saying that this is something a child should grow up in. It is different than accommodating for less than ideal circumstances.  There is something about the bond between a child and a mother and a child and a father that is worth defending.

I think if any person who has grown up without either of these strong bonds, in an honest moment, when we know we would not hurt those who did raise us, we would say that something was missing. None of us have an ideal situation. That does not mean we should stop promoting it by a conjugal definition of marriage.

I love the principles of CanaVox

Our 5 principles represent what we stand for. Passion for these principles is what unites us and motivate us.  

1. Marriage is a permanent, exclusive union between one man and one woman 

2. Every child has a right to a mother and a father; no one has a right to a child. 

3. Every human being has a right to life from conception until natural death.  

4. Every person possesses a unique dignity and is worthy of respect, regardless of sex, age, ethnicity, sexual feelings, race, educational level, religious or political ideas. 

5. Every person has a right to freedom of conscience, thought, and religion, which includes the freedom to manifest one's religion or beliefs in a public or private way so long as these beliefs and practices do not harm others.